Day 0: 27/11/2003

Above and awake
Lincolnshire, London Heathrow and BA009

It’s 10:34pm (or 3:34am, depending on how you look at it) and I’m currently flying somewhere above a vast expanse of middle eastern mountain range. According to the little map on the TV in the back of the seat in front of me, we’re flying at 596mph, at 33,000 feet over somewhere called Samarkand (vaguely near Tashkent) and daylight has just broken. The view out of my window is somewhere between polar ice-cap and rolling white ocean. Amazing.

My David Blaine-esque feat of sleep deprived endurance is now entering its 15th hour since I left Lincolnshire. I seem to remember that Blaine named his last stunt (the Perspex box effort at Tower Bridge) “Above the below”, so I’ve decided to call mine “Above and awake”. Seems quite apt. But I’ve managed to grab about 3 hours of semi-sleep so things are looking good.

It’s been a good flight so far. Other than sleeping, I’ve fought off the boredom by watching “American Pie – The Wedding” – completely pointless but kind of funny – and dined on that classic Thai dish of red chicken curry with Caesar salad and bread roll with butter. Hmm. At least the profiterole with chocolate mousse was served at dinner on this flight and not breakfast, as it was on the New York flight last April.

So other than watching films, catching sleep and chatting to a fellow traveller who was sat next to me, I was glued to the window as we flew out of the UK looking down on the glowing orange towns and cities that looked like mini lava flows from this height. I missed the view of all the mainland Europe mostly due to darkness and partly to sleep.

We have a healthy tail wind helping us along so the pilot reckons he can chop 40 minutes of the flight time. All the better considering we were a little late (30 mins) in leaving Heathrow. So, just time to grab another film and await breakfast and I’ll be there.

Samui welcome
Koh Samui, Thailand

Bangkok airport – I’d been expecting some kind of manic, busy and overwhelming place but was surprised to see that it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. Immigration and customs were both a breeze and, despite getting a little lost in the sprawling airport, it was a relatively smooth passage through with only a handful of taxi drivers and travel agents touting for business. It helped that I had a plan already in mind – to fly to Samui, or worst case scenario, head to a hotel nearby that I had booked as a back-up plan. I can imagine that arriving here without any onward bookings of some kind could be overawing.

I finally arrived at Koh Samui’s gorgeous little shack of an airport (the arrivals terminal basically being a thatched hut) at about 10pm Thai time following a delay of around an hour and a half as I waited for my connecting Bangkok Airways flight to the island. It was only a short 1 hour hop on a twin propeller engined plane followed by a 5 minute open air tram from the plane to the terminal.

I was greeted by Mon and Becca who had been waiting for me for ages. I’ll not forget that moment in a hurry: after 8 weeks of thinking about it and imagining what it was going to be like, to see them again was totally brilliant.

They had arranged transport (via a songthaew – a kind of covered flat bed van with benches along the inside walls) back to Samui. We travelled via the main Chaweng resort, which isn’t dissimilar to many tourist hotspots around the world – lots of bright lights, open fronted bars and loud music wherever you go (and unfortunately the ubiquitous “golden M’s” of McDonalds – not somewhere I hope to be visiting on this trip). It was a 20 minute trip back to the room that the girls had found for us – time to reflect on the long journey and to finally start to relax.

Once the beast of a backpack had been dropped off and all the random bits and bobs that I had carried over for Becca and Mon had been handed out (“Just like Christmas,” apparently!), we headed to a nearby bar for a couple of Chang beers and a light meal (vegetable stir fry with egg fried rice). It was about 2am THA when we strolled down the beach back to our room, enjoying the warmth (31 degrees C even at that time) and the atmosphere – it’s amazing to think that somewhere like this is so (relatively) close to home.

Day 1 has been superb so far. The jetlag appears not to be having too much effect so far after a good night’s sleep and I got up at about half 10 Thai time (3:30am GMT). Becca then took me out for breakfast at a local English run café (I figured I’d break myself in gently to the ‘eating rice for breakfast’ lark and plumped for muesli and fruit) followed by a walk down the beach. Bathwater-warm seas and beautiful scenery abound – I could get used to this!

Although I’ve been here for less than 1 day, I am starting to feel at home already. Coming into Koh Samui and meeting the girls has helped as they’re settled in and know the ropes, which does make life easier for me as I don’t need to worry about finding where the nearest ATM is or where’s good to eat. I think one thing that will take some getting used to is slowing down my pace of life. Everything here is done at its own speed and that’s generally leisurely and stress-free.

Right. Time to head back out for some sunshine.

It is such a shame that these places are overlooked by many tourists. This market was literally 50 metres from the crowded, commercialised main strip of bars and shops, yet so few people venture off that 1 stretch of concrete. Having said that, if everyone beat a path to the market, there’d be no room for any of the food stalls.

'Thai mssaaaaage' and lady boys
Koh Samui, Thailand

I thought a diary entry with that sort of title would grab your attention. Both elements of the above have somehow found their way into the last couple of days in Chaweng - the latter to the no doubt great amusement of my former work colleagues (I can hear you laughing from here, Bryan)!

Yesterday began with my first proper attempt to adopt Becca and Mon's beach-bum lifestyle. I am notoriously bad at sitting still on a beach and doing nothing - I get itchy feet within minutes. But, progress was made as I not only managed to stay still for nearly 2 hours, I also ventured into the swimming pool. It's one of my goals for the trip to learn how to swim and this basically constituted Becca's first official swimming lesson. Not being an expert in swimming tuition, I can't criticise my learned teacher, but it did seem to just consist of Becca splashing me repeatedly until I got into the pool. I suspect the next lesson will be the one where she chucks me into the deep end...

Last night, with Mon opting to rest up and spend the evening watching "Trash TV", Becca and I ventured out with Nick and a couple of his chums Sarah and Paul into Chaweng's main strip of bars for a few drinks. After food and a couple of drinks at the "50 Baht Bar" - a term coined by Nick and Paul as all drinks in there cost just 50 Baht - we decided to take in a cabaret show at a local club. The show consisted of a steady stream of lady boys and drag queens, who entertained the crowd with songs and often hugely clever routines. Our night drew to a close with us relaxing on poolside sun loungers in the warm night air with a couple more beers at Nick's apartment block. Thanks to Nick for offering us shelter after Becca and I locked ourselves out of our accommodation... Oops. Anyway. A very entertaining evening, all-in-all.

Today has started poorly weather-wise, so we're confined to mostly indoor activities until the rain stops. But before any of you think about not being jealous of the weather out here, we're told it'll clear up later and the sun will shine again. So this morning, we ambled back to our room after breakfast and decided to take up one of the many offers for 'Thai mssaaaaages' (that's exactly how it gets shouted out to you as you pass by the massage parlours) and opted for a full hour of authentic Thai massage. The 3 of us lay side-by-side as 2 tiny Thai ladies began the process on the girls (my masseuse was late for work that morning). I could see what was coming as I watched Becca and Mon out of the corner of my eye - I was already beginning to wonder whether this was a good idea...

Despite her small stature, the masseuse that eventually meted out the treatment (punishment?) to my poor limbs managed to generate a staggering amount of power. The experience varied from blissful relaxation to contortion induced pain as she worked her magic. In the end, I left the treatment room feeling invigorated and with every muscle in my body feeling loose and relaxed. Not entirely what I had been expecting, but it was worth the trip if only for the fact that it woke me up after the previous night out.

Our Chaweng time is now drawing to an end as we have decided to up-and-go onwards to Koh Pha-Ngan and then to Koh Tao for a change of scenery in a few night's time. Check back soon for more updates.

The Durian conundrum
Koh Samui, Thailand

To smell or not to smell…? The lady at the street stall handed me my bag of freshly prepared Durian fruit and I began to wonder how was best to eat it. I’d been told that the fruit emits a smell so disgusting as to discourage the eater from proceeding.

Feeling brave, I took the plunge and inhaled a lung full from the bag. The aroma was indescribable: not from a “disgusting” perspective but simply from the fact that I couldn’t pick out any familiar smell. It is a truly bizarre fruit. After a few lung fulls, the best description I can come up with is a cross between fresh vegetables (that clean, crisp smell of, say, raw carrot or cauliflower) and rancid meat. How something can smell both fresh and rancid at the same time is beyond me.

The taste… again, difficult to describe. How many times have people come back from holidays or special restaurants to say “Oh, I had crocodile/ostrich/kangaroo/duck-billed platypus/whatever and it tasted of chicken.”? Well, sorry – Durian tasted of chicken to me! With the texture of slimy mushroom and with a whitish-yellow flesh, it wasn’t entirely flavoursome or pleasant, to be honest! But it’s one thing to cross off my ‘things to do’ list.

The story behind how I came about the Durian fruit began this morning when I departed for Lamai on foot. I could have picked up a songthaew for around 40 Baht, but I figured the walk would be good. And it was – all 5 miles of it.

The roads in-between Chaweng and Lamai are currently fairly sparse in terms of tourist amenities – you get the occasional shop or secluded accommodation, but by-and-large, it’s a relatively open stretch of land littered with stunning views, forest or weird rock formations. Except that a huge proportion of it is under development right now. And given the rate at which new buildings go up around here (Becca and Mon were pointing out operational hotels in Lamai today that were under construction around 2 months ago!), it’s not going to be long before Chaweng and Lamai are joined like some colossal, hellish tourist resort.

Which is a shame when you have unspoilt attractions such as the view that greeted me (NB - narrowband users please note that this is a big picture file and may take some time to download) at one of the first major viewpoints along the way (although the climb to get there was quite a struggle in the midday heat! Had it been a little longer, it would have been a Category 1 climb, Andy!). These viewpoints are likely to become the next luxury hotel development or expensive restaurant… Shame.

So: Lamai. First impressions are that it’s more “town-like” than Chaweng, with most of the shops and bars spread over a series of streets as opposed to Chaweng’s one, long tourist strip. However, McDonald’s rears its ugly head once again with the “Golden M’s” being displayed prominently in the centre. The beach is shorter than Chaweng but boasts a rock formation at the southern end that is well known to most that travel to these parts. Alas, I managed to miss it on this occasion, but check back later this month as I’ll be back in Lamai again.

My day was spent ambling around the area and taking in the sights that were there. These included yet another food market (don’t worry Nick – no extensive details this time! ;o) ) whilst downing 5 litres of water. After yesterday’s rain and overcast conditions, today was the exact opposite. Scorching from start to finish – wonderful!

39C/102F

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